Oh, I see now. This is a reward, not a punishment. You're all here to entertain me in the afterlife, and I'd like to let you know at the outset that I do appreciate it.

Since we're all speaking on one subject - incidentally, did I miss a meeting? You're all so effortlessly on the same page - there's an important one that's been missed. Old, but important. Of course there's Sol Invictus [ slight, slight stress ] on the twenty-fifth, but everyone forgets about Saturnalia. [ Tsk, tsk. ] Old traditions are the best traditions, or so they say.

[ He never got a chance to visit those Roman soldiers, but he imagines they'd agree. ]

[ spam literally anywhere on the barge for people who want to harass/hug him (FREAKIN' MISTLETOE) ]